When you are going through infertility you may encounter people that get under your skin.
You know the ones. They may always be gushing about their kids, or putting up daily Facebook pictures of their babies or making comments, such as "when are you going to start a family or when will you make me a grandparent?"
Know that when you are going through infertility you can be extra sensitive.
When someone says something, you may go off on a tangent in your mind thinking about what they said for hours, days weeks or even years.
You may even think of witty comebacks and plan a way to get them back, to put them in their place.
Next thing you know you're stressed.
When we get stressed this cues the production of cortisol . There are many studies on the connection between stress and infertility. Check out this study here.
I know if one more well meaning person tells you to relax, you'll get pregnant, you're going to lose it.
Time to take a minute and breathe. Check out my article on how to deal with stress and infertility here.
If you are over preoccupied with a trait in others that bothers you, chances are you have that trait too.
The saying "you spot you got it', may get your back up.
What do you mean, "I'm not disrespectful, uncaring or selfish"
Many times what we dislike in others or what gets under our skin is something that we dislike in ourselves.
This behaviour gets under our skin because it goes against our value system.
When we try to repress the memory of what we dislike in ourselves we become hyper aware of anything that reminds us of this behaviour.
When someone pushes one of your buttons follow theses steps:
- Ask, "How emotionally reactive am I to this situation?"
- What might be my button (your interpretation that caused the upset)?
- What else may really be going on here?
- If the situation comes up again how will I handle it?
The first step is to bring awareness to it.
Once you are aware of what you are thinking, then you can get curious about what is coming up for you.
When you feel like jumping down the rabbit hole when someone says something to you, that pushes your buttons, remember to STOP, BREATHE and then get CURIOUS.
Sarah Clark empowers couples to discover how lifestyle and diet can dramatically impact their chances of conceiving. She was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure at 28 and had both her kids with donor eggs. Not until years later did she discover that the root cause of her infertility was a food intolerance. Ready to gaze into your baby's eyes....but struggling. Download 10 step Checklist here
Martha Beck - Projection, What you spot is what you got