Podcasts

How to Recognize Your Patterns and Why This Matters If You Are TTC

Sep 08, 2020

How to Recognize Your Patterns and Why This Matters If You Are TTC

Today I’m welcoming Amira Posner back to the podcast.

We’re digging into how to recognize your patterns and why this matters if you are TTC.

Amira Posner is Healing Infertility’s lead counselor. Amira is a professional therapist with Bachelor and Masters Degrees in Social Work from the University of Manitoba. She also has formal training in hypnotherapy, Reiki, and the relaxation response.

Amira and I work very closely together! We co-facilitate the online Mindfulness Fertility Series together. This is a 6-week online program that helps embrace your fertility journey with proven relaxation techniques and stress management strategies that help you regain control and cope with infertility in a much more positive way! The next class begins September 17, 2020. Register your spot here. Space is limited to 12 people.

We all have them. Patterns. The things we do over and over again.

Some of them are great, others are not very helpful for us.

Studies say that over ⅔ of our spontaneous thoughts are negative.

And while it can be difficult to stay positive when we’re the middle of a struggle - it's important to remember that there is a beginning and an end. This will not last forever.

So how do we identify our negative patterns (i.e. impatience, worry, anger, self-criticizing, etc.)?

The first step is awareness.

On this podcast you'll learn:

1) How to know when you are stuck in an unhelpful pattern

2) How do we ease our suffering? We discuss awareness, the intention to change, taking ourselves off automatic pilot, and developing a plan.

3) Strategies to help when you have a negative thought.

4) How self-compassion can help and provide comfort during difficult times. Plus what would you tell a friend in a similar situation to you?

5) Why self-pity can be a slippery slope and how to notice the signs.

TIMESTAMPS:

06:28- INTRO AND AMIRA POSNER'S BIO
08:12- WHAT ARE "PATTERNS" AND WHY ARE THEY IMPORTANT?
  • How the fertility journey is sometimes the vessel that shows us the negative patterns in our lives
  • How catching negative patterns in your life can ease suffering
  • How our thoughts are bent towards the negative
  • One of the biggest patterns that Amira sees working with clients
12:32- RECOGNIZING THE NEED TO CONTROL AND VISUALIZATION
  • The difficulty in visualization when we try to protect ourselves from pain
  • The role of belief in visualization
  • Dealing with the thought "What if this doesn't happen?"
  • "It's not easy work. It's scary."
  • The importance (and difficulty) of being vulnerable
16:40- DEALING WITH COMPARISION
  • "We are all on our own journey"
  • Blocking out temptations to compare
17:50- HOW DO WE EASE SUFFERING
  • Changing the way we relate to ourselves
  • "Suffering is what gives us awareness"
  • Changing the way we relate to infertility
  • Moving out of auto-pilot and being intentional
19:20- HOW TO RAISE AWARENESS WITH OUR THOUGHTS
  • Meditation's role in raising awareness and combatting unhealthy patterns
  • Being present in your meditation
  • Blowing a "kiss" and letting it go
21:30- SELF-COMPASSION AND BEING KIND TO YOURSELF
  • Powerful statements you can say to better connect with yourself
  • Reframing difficulties
  • The power of asking yourself how you would respond to your friend
22:50- CONNECTING WITH YOUR INNER CHILD TO CHANNEL SELF-LOVE
  • How to visualize yourself as a child and feel love for yourself
24:20- MOVING PAST SELF-PITY (WHEN IT IS NOT HEALTHY)
  • The balance of self-pity and giving yourself space to feel
  • Moving past it where it will not control you
  • "Struggle has a beginning, middle, and end"
  • Finding different ways of relating to yourself
27:37- THE IMPORTANCE OF MEDITATION AND BUILDING A PRACTICE
  • How sometimes the thing we need the most we let go of first
  • The importance of self-care and why it's critical to make time for it
  • What fears cause you to be hard on yourself
  • Dealing with impatience
31:48- RESOURCE RECOMMENDATIONS
  • The importance of what you are putting into your mind
35:05- MINDFULNESS SERIES DETAIL

Resources:

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