Okay, you've probably heard it before. If you just relax you could get pregnant. Why don't you stop thinking about getting pregnant for awhile and then you won't be so stressed out and you will probably conceive. Do you ever feel like slapping these well-meaning people? I know I did.
Thing is once you go down the rabbit hole of trying to conceive, you don't look back, you can only move forward. Month after month. Look I get it. I was told at 28 that I couldn't have children. I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure. At the time I wasn't even on the baby train. I was focusing on my career. However like every other over achiever, once someone tells me I can't have something I will move mountains to make sure I get it.
When I was going through my infertility treatments everyone would ask, are your stressed? At the time I really didn't think I was stressed. I'm a go go go kinda person, so I was tackling infertility like I tackled everything else, full force.
What I didn't realize is you have to slow down and no you can't do it alone. You need to ask for help.
This places you in a vulnerable position.
Not only has your body failed you, but you have to let other people help you and see your pain.
I was lucky to have an amazing partner that supported me all the way. I frequented online chat groups, but looking back I would have benefited from someone in my corner to help me.
Someone who has been through infertility and gets it.
So yeah, during my infertility journey I now realize I was extremely stressed.
I remember thinking if it didn't work, I would quit my job and travel around the world. I was always protecting myself, because if I let myself be too vulnerable or let down my guard and let on that this was pretty damn important - I would be completely gutted. Always have a plan B, that was my motto. Don't worry I'm fine.
The problem was the plan B wasn't an option, I wanted to have a baby now.
What should you do now?
No - you don't have to do it alone - ask for help! - many communities have Infertility Support Groups. Check out support groups in the United States at Resolve. You can also check out Canadian support groups at Fertility Matters. I run a support group too, in Burlington, Ontario.
Tune into your body and slow down. - Try some deep breathing - 1 minute per day. I like this free website Calm. They offer timed meditation and guided meditation.
Try this excellent resource - Circle and Bloom - http://www.circlebloom.com/
Select one item and implement today. Knowledge without action is meaningless.
Sarah Clark empowers couples to discover how lifestyle and diet can dramatically impact their chances of conceiving. She was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure at 28 and had both her kids with donor eggs. Not until years later did she discover that the root cause of her infertility was a food intolerance. Ready to gaze into your baby's eyes....but struggling. Download 10 step Checklist here